Three things mono therapists get wrong about polyamorous breakups
Claire Louise Travers is a humanitarian by profession. She’s implemented humanitarian response initiatives in over 20 countries. She’s worked with the United Nations as well as other international non-governmental organisations and think tanks. She has an honours degree in the philosophy of ideas from the university of Cardiff in Wales, a double masters from universities in Sweden and the Netherlands, and has a visiting scholarship from Columbia university in NY state. I’m leaving out what she’s doing in Poland because I don’t understand it. And she’s only 30 years old. Can you tell that I’m a bit intimidated by her brilliance? She’s also polyamorous, which means she is comfortable having concurrent romantic and sexual relationships. When the 20th anniversary of Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy’s book The Ethical Slut came out, she and one of her partners thought it would be a fun idea to read it together and discuss it on a podcast. They called it Poly Pages. And because she’s an academic at heart they decided to produce bonus episodes to talk to academics about research in polyamory. Then she and her partner broke up, which put an end to the Ethical Slut Reading Group the two of them had started. In fact, that year, all her relationship ended. But in true Claire fashion, she decided to do something useful with the podcast. Under the auspices of Poly Pages, she ran an event about decoupling in polyamorous relationships, and the webinar is available for purchase at polypages.org. I’ll put a link in the show notes. And she’s been running events for the polyamorous community ever since. Look out for the White Supremacy in Polyamory On 19th June 2021, which is also available for purchase. Breakups are a part of relationships, but I’m guessing most relationship coaches don’t have a lot of experience with breakups when the people are polyamorous. How can we support the process best? You can find the webinar on decoupling in polyamorous relationships for ten pounds or about $15 polypages.org. Find @polypages on TikTok (her TikToks are hilarous and informative) and Instagram @polypages. Find Claire at http://www.ClaireLouiseTravers.co.uk, and polypages at http://www.polypages.org The takeaways for me were. * Don’t call it ethical non-monogamy because that implies that all non-monogamy is unethical unless stated otherwise. We don’t say “ethical monogamy” do we? She wrote an article about this on medium which you can find at clairelouisetravers.medium.com * If a person is going through a breakup, it hurts. Treat that breakup as its own thing. * It’s not really fair to ask other partners to support you through a breakup. You can lean on them a bit, but make sure you have other forms of support * It’s useful to have non-monogamous friends who understand your relationship structure and can be there for you. * It can happen in polyamory that when one relationship ends, others can sometimes end as well. That hardly seems fair, does it * In polyamory, there’s this idea that relationships don’t always have to end just because you’ve decoupled. Sometimes they transition into a different shape. In monogamy, almost all decouplings are abrupt breaks. But in polyamory, relationships stop being sexual or romantic, but they can transition into friendship, or co-working or another form of relating. (They’re still break-ups, don’t get me wrong). Then some tips to be less sad after a breakup; * Watch a scary movie. It’s hard to be scared and sad at the same time * Dance or move your body to work some of the feelings out. Sign up to receive our emails with bonus content at http://TheRelationshipCoachShow.com, which is also where you can find the Spotify playlist of all the breakup and lovesongs we’ve featured. @Therelationshipcoach show is also where you will find us on Facebook and Instagram, and please follow us on Twitter @TheRELcoachShow firstname.lastname@example.org for comments or feedback. Poly Pages is a non-monogamous platform and podcast that advocates for the inclusion of alternative relationship models into social research and public policy. It adds and expands the body of literature and knowledge concerning the intersection between polyamory and other areas of interest including legal studies, advocacy, sexual health, ethics and moral philosophy, anthropology and public affairs.
Why podcasts are a powerful tool for marketing a coaching practice
You’re listening to this show because you want to make an impact in your clients’ lives. Part of making an impact is learning about different kinds of sexuality, gender and relationship diversity. What are your clients going through that you may know very little about? Another part of making an impact is making money. It’s much easier to make an impact if you’re finding the right clients and are able to charge for the value you bring. So it’s my privilege to welcome Britany Felix. She runs a business called Podcasting for Coaches, and since you’re a relationship coach, I figured she’s the best person to talk about marketing your business using podcasting. In this episode I asked her if it’s even worth starting a podcast. Surely the market is too crowded now? I asked about the benefits of podcasting and some of the mistakes she’s seen people make. And she has a very cool love song and breakup song story.
Britany Felix is host of the podcast Podcasting for Coaches and as such is the perfect guest to help relationship coaches who are considering podcasting as a marketing tool.
She helps coaches use podcasts as a way to build brand awareness, establish themselves as an expert in their niche, gain new business opportunities, network, and generate new leads for their business.
She guides coaches through launching their podcast and will take care of editing and post-production as well. If you have a podcast, Britany can do an audit of your existing podcast to see what areas can be improved.
In addition to her very informative show, she offers a DIY course for coaches who want to launch a podcast.You can find Britany here: http://podcastingforcoaches.com
How to get your clients to open up
How should relationship coaches use narrative therapy in their coaching rooms? What tips does a filmmaker have about seeing beyond the clients’ story? Alex is a Mindful Intimacy Catalyst, merging the science of Storytelling and the spirituality of Quantum Physics to reach transcendental orgasmic states. “After 10 years in Filmmaking & Advertising, now I work with individuals and couples through narrative-based coaching to uncover their true Self-image and craft a Life Story they’re proud to share. Spiritual-scientific-sexuality is my absolute passion and I intuitively combine decades of studies in NLP, psychology, neuroscience, somatic healing, emotional integration, shadow work, trauma healing, DNA BioRegenesis & Keylontic Morphogenetic Physics to offer bespoke, tangible Mind/Body/Spirit practices for anyone who’s willing to do the Self-development.” Find alex at http://masterofstory.net or on instagram @directedbyalex Check out the latest episode!
What relationship coaches miss about men who cross-dress
Some 2,8% of men have cross-dressed. That’s around in man in 35. Why do men do it? How are their partners affected? Savannah Hauk is this week’s guest. She’s an Author, TEDx Speaker and cross-dressing activist. She talks about what relationship coaches need to know to support guys who cross-dress. Originally from the Detroit area, she moved to the boroughs of New York City over twenty years ago in pursuit of a career in graphic design and website management. She now lives in South Carolina with her cis-partner, Judy Swain. She loves dogs, movies, Stephen King novels, cosplay and comic cons. In addition, crossdressing as a woman is an integral constant of who she is. Her personal journey—and that with her partner Judy—is ever-evolving. She is the author of “Living with Crossdressing: Defining a New Normal”, awarded the 2018 eLit Gold Medal for LGBT Non-Fiction and the Silver Medal for Sexuality and Relationships. She is also the author of a zombie apocalypse series under her male name. The Fox and Phoenix podcast is here: https://podcasts.apple.com/za/podcast/the-fox-and-the-phoenix/id1523172222 As always, leave comments/feedback at email@example.com You can sign up to the newsletter there, listen to episodes and find out more about our guests. Follow us: http://twitter.com/therelcoachshow and http://instagram.com/therelationshipcoachshow and http://facebook.com/therelationshipcoachshow Check out the latest episode!
What you need to know about sexual shame and open relationships
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The most impactful coaching question
Suzannah Weiss is a sex and relationship coach. She was in a monogamous long-distance relationship for three years, but she found herself constantly drawn to new sexual experiences. She wrote about it in an article for the website Hello Giggles, which you can read here. (I recommend the website, by the way. It’s really excellent) https://hellogiggles.com/love-sex/exploring-non-monogamous-relationships/ I wanted to know from her how relationship coaches could support their clients when the clients are cheating. What do clients in that situation need? We also explored non-monogamy, and she told us the story of the coaching question she asked that had the biggest impact on her. You can find her at http://Suzannahweiss.com where she offers a free introductory session; on Twitter @SuzannahWeiss and on Instagram at @WeissSuzannah. I’m genuinely interested in your feedback from today’s show. Email it to firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also sign up for our mailing list there, and follow us from there on all the usual platforms. See you next week. Music in today’s show is Pleasant Porridge by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/7614-pleasant-porridge License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Suzannah writes: When it comes to relationships, I like to work with people who are on the path of true love. If dating conventions feel limiting to you, if you’re more concerned with unconditional love than labels, if you have an inexplicable spiritual bond with someone, and/or understanding love feels like a big part of your soul’s mission, this could be you.
How to make your room safer for marginalised communities
It’s always awkward asking Black people to talk to White people about race. That’s why I’m doing it — so you don’t have to! In this episode of The Relationship Coach Show, Zayna talks us through how to use the idea of intersectionality to create empathy with clients who may be different from us. And she tells us when it’s OK to ask a question for clarification, and when it’s offensive and inappropriate. Zayna Ratty (She, Her) is an LGBTQIA+, GSRD (Gender, Sex & Relationship Diversity), Polyamory, BDSM, Race & Ethnicity Hypno-Psychotherapist, ACT Practitioner, presenter, columnist, and trainer based in Oxfordshire, UK. She’s a Pink Therapy GSRD awareness endorsed trainer, the 1st PoC Chair of Oxford Pride and Diversity & Equalities Officer at National College of Hypnosis & Psychotherapy. She regularly delivers diversity training, consultancy and education to a wide variety of organisations. Zayna is also commended for her role as a Stonewall PoC Role Model and has over 1000 hours of client work and experience in her specialisms of race, ethnicity and GSRD. She contributes her knowledge as a regular columnist to both OxMag and Fyne Times and she is also the co-host of the Beyond Monogamy with Zayna and Jonathan podcast. Revered for her expertise in gender, sex, relationships and diversity, Zayna has also claimed the Hypno-Psychotherapist of the Year award at the Oxfordshire Prestige Awards 2020 and the Most Dedicated Hypno-Psychotherapist 2020 award. An advocate for raising awareness of marginalised groups within society, Zayna has been twice nominated for the National Diversity Awards Positive Role Model (LGBT+) in both 2019 and 2020. Zayna’s charity, diversity consulting work and private therapeutic practice explore how race, gender, sexuality and relationship diversity create a prism of intersecting identities. You can learn more about her at http://www.zayna.net